So, one thing that I have noticed here is the fact that no matter HOW HARD I try to blend in, the feat is just never accomplished. Now I have been to Honduras before and have noticed the same thing but have never felt the color of my skin as much as I do here. Everywhere I go, people watch me. Some stare as if I am on the meat market, others just genuinely are curious as to why a white person is walking through their neighborhood. One day, we were walking to teach school and there was a group of women to the side fetching water. One of them said that we are beautiful. It was in that moment that I realized how wrong everything is. Did she not know that SHE was beautiful? The language barrier has been hard to get around but never was it as frustrating as it was at the moment. I wanted to make her understand that even though I was white on the outside, which was seen as beautiful to her, my inside had so much ugly marks to it. I wanted to tell her that SHE was beautiful and so worthy of being cherished. The past couple of days have been hard. I have never been so annoyed with my skin color and just with how people view things. I guess it hit each one of us at some point on the trip. I was just a little later then most. I am tired of being gawked at. This man even stopped his moto just to take a picture of me and some others. They see white as beautiful. They yearn to be white. The people even have pills called Fair and Lovely to make them lighter. Women put powder on their children to lighten their faces. Now, I am not ragging on India. Everywhere it is like this. The United States people yearn to be tan. Women spray tan their children (not all mind you for both India and the United States). People lay out for hours frying their skin just to achieve beauty. Now, I am just as guilty as everyone. I want to be tan. I hate being the color of a snowman. It just is so wrong! The L made us with one thought in mind: Beauty. We are all beautifully made. If this comes across as anger, that is not what I meant to give off. I am just saddened. I want to take everyone’s face in my hands and show them how the L views them. However, on the more positive note, our skin color has led to conversations with people. People are just so curious as to where we live, why are we here, and just to get to know us. I love India. The people here are beautiful. Hospitality is INSANE! Come on U.S., we gotta STEP IT UP! These wonderful women are constantly inviting us into their homes, offering us chai, telling us their stories. I am starting to feel at home. A home away from home so you will.
