As I walk the streets of Bangalore
I start to notice the one thing you cant find in the pictures on the internet,
or in the books at the library. That one thing just happens to be how broken
and dark this country really is. Ok, so that is two things.
As my team starts a wonderful game on day one of a scavenger
hunt, I get real excited about being thrown into the culture and trying to
figure our way around. Each group of two received 500 rupees which in American
money that is 10 dollars. So we have this money and a list of things we need to
get and about an hour to find as much as possible. As my teammate Jess and I
set out to find everything, we find it tough to communicate with the people
here. Some speak English others just stare and do this bobble head to
communicate to you that they have no idea what you are saying.
When we start to get deeper within the city I start feeling
this emotion rise over me. I don’t really understand what is going on in my
heart I just know that something is tugging at my heart, or is it the fact
children tug at my skirt and then touch my feet right before they reach as high
as possible to ask for money or food. And I can’t seem to understand this
feeling that builds up in my heart as the day goes on. This picture plays over
and over in my head everyday. And it was then that I realized emotionally I
don’t think I am ready for what India has to offer me.
So the questions I keep asking is
how do I love those broken children? How do you love someone who is another person’s
property? The answers to these questions start to scare me. Because then I realize
that when I figure them out it is then that I will be the one to help them. Something
that my heart longs to do for this country, but a responsibility I selfishly
don’t want. But, lucky my Father is one to patently bring me to realize that I
will be obedient and do his will. Which I am more excited about then the one I thought
of for myself.
Last night I saw two things in a
vision that I thought was the devil attacking me with. He showed me a Muslim
woman who is covered head to toe with a burka; the only thing you can see is
there eyes. And then shows me the kids in the streets who beg for food and
money. This vision completely scares me filling my eyes with tears and to weak
to stand. As I sat on the floor and three of my teammates along with both my
leaders began to pray for me I start hearing HIS voice. “This will only make
you stronger, you will continue to do my will here.” along with psalm 91. But
it was not until today that I start to notice that satin might of tired to
attack me, but that vision was from my Father. And the plan he has for me here
is going to completely blow my team and I away. Through the many feelings I have
for this country, my Father seems to reassure me that his plan for me here is
going to change my team and me forever. And to be honest with you, I have more
peace and hope for this vision and my team then I have ever had for anything
else in my life. My Father is going to move, there will be a light to this dark
country. And my team is about to set it on fire!
