July? Already? I have definitely been in the missions time warp where some days feel long but the time is flying by! Over the past month I have grown to love the crazy quirks of India that make it so different from home! Sitting on the floor, eating with my hands, and the rickshaws all feel very normal now! My tolerance for spicy food has even increased exponentially! (Although I would pay an exorbitant amount of rupees for a burger right now…)
Over the past few weeks my relationships with the boys have blossomed. One of my favorite parts of the day is welcoming the boys home from school and having them jump into my arms. There has been much fruit in my relationship with the boy I tutor daily! After some trying afternoons of studying that almost brought me to tears, and spending weeks learning how to spell the (English) colors and body parts, my sweet boy scored the highest in his class! Praise the Lord! To see how proud he was, beaming, showing all the other Aunties his exam made every minute more than worth it. To hear him call me My Auntie made it more than worth it. To hear him be the first child to tell me I love you back, made it more than worth it. One of my most cherished moments with him was one afternoon during studying when he got a far off look in his eye, and when probed about what he was thinking, began to cry and while holding him in my arms began to sing to him (crying just isn’t done in Indian culture). Looking into his dark eyes I can see my own reflection. Underneath his eye he has a scar about the size of a quarter… from where his mother burned him. He has more on his legs. When I look into those eyes, when I see his tears, I am reminded of how much pain his 8 years hold. Our God is a God of abundant grace in my life and in his, in completely different ways.
There is another boy at the home, also 8 years old, who I have not had such a connection with, but I long to, instead he consistently pushes me away. Daily I try to talk to him or play with him and he either ignores me or forcefully says no. Daily I pray for him and that he would grow to trust and maybe even like me! Please pray for both of us, for the hardened places of his heart, and for the protection of my heart, as I continue to love him even when rejection hurts. Also pray for my discernment to know how and when to love/reach him best.
God has grown me in the area of loving when it hurts through both of these boys and many others. Any temporary pain I may endure is so worth the loving. As I look towards this next month, I am hoping and praying for even more growth. Bring on the spiritual growing pains! My prayer over this journey has consistently been that God would break my heart for what breaks His in this world, and that He would show me how to love like He loves me, and the boldness to act upon His conviction. I want to pass on one nugget of truth from one of my teammates that gave me:
Psalm 37:4 says, “Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” This verse is not about a rewards system where God gives you the desires of YOUR sinful heart, instead it is about letting your heart be transformed so that your desires, are God’s. Open your hand to surrender and receive whatever God has for you. WOW.
Olivia “Doll Auntie”
