It all
began the other day when I was sitting in the room at Asha next to Jared. I dont remember any of the other
circumstances except that before I knew what was happening Salem was sitting in
front of Jared asking him The Question.
“You leave
7 May?”
And so it
began. “Yes. Yes, we leave 7 May. No, we will never forget you. Yes, we want to
come back. No, we don’t know when.”
I was
joking around with Beulah in the kitchen when all of a sudden she was asking me
if I would forget her.
I asked
her if she would forget me.
How could
I forget? How could I leave? How could I say goodbye?
Sarah said
she needed to begin the process of giving the boys back to God.
Giving
them back. How do you give back children you have come to love…children who
love you?
How do you
say goodbye to smiles? How do you say goodbye to tickle fights? How do you say
goodbye to afternoon cricket games and orange slices? How do you say goodbye to
making Vishal memorize poems? How do you say goodbye to forcing Hopen to catch
up on his alphabet homework? How do you say goodbye to puzzles with Sunil and
Bishnath? How do you say goodbye to teaching Salem’s class at school and always
being able to count on him to answer the questions? How do you say goodbye to
Subold, the nine-year-old with the most expressive eyes, preaching on Sunday
night about casting your cares on God? How do you say goodbye to Kumar’s
precious quirkiness or Pritam’s desire to be a hero? How do you say goodbye to
prayer and worship every night? How do you say goodbye to hearing Beulah pray?
How do you say goodbye to Singrai carrying Gladys around? How do you say
goodbye to reading ahead in Janer’s English book with him? How do you say
goodbye to Markus’s smile lighting up the room? And Saul always climbing, whether
up trees or on Ben? How do you say goodbye to Samu always stepping on your
feet? Or Bourun never wanting to do his schoolwork? How do you say goodbye to
the look on Brij’s face when you know he wants to be held but can’t ask for it?
How do you
say goodbye to the boys when you’ve seen their good days and their bad days?
How do you say goodbye to the boys who have seen your good days and bad days?
Who have made you smile on the days you were too tired to look in the mirror in
the morning?
How do you
say goodbye to the hoys who have made it all – the hours on a plane, the
thousands and thousands of miles traveled, the unbearable heat, the dirtiness,
the days at the hospital, the long nights – more than worth it. It was such a
small sacrifice to have the privilege and honor of knowing them.
I don’t know
how to say goodbye.
But, I do
know that God knows. And I know that these boys belong to Him. He’s their God
and He sees them and He knows them. I know that they belong to Him. He sees
every tear that falls and He hears every voice crying out to Him. He knows that
they need a new home. He sees the worries and concerns and the battles fought
on behalf of these boys. And He’s holding it all in His hands. They are safe
and secure because they are resting in the palms of the Most High God. He is
the Father that owns a cattle on a thousand hills, this land, these people,
they are His.
He gave
them to us for four months and said, “Love them. Love my children.” And now it
is time to give them back. To release them once again into the sovereignty and
love of God.
Because He
loves them and cares for them much more and much better than I ever will.
