Sickness, Song, Surrender

Earlier before I got sick, I was fighting it off big time and thinking to myself that I was going to be strong and not let this sickness take control of me. During feedback, I just broke down and cried out to God. I surrendered my body to Him. If it was sickness that needed to change my focus then I was willing. 

I remember falling down to my knees, head almost to the floor, crying out to Him. Crying soon turned to anger, which then turned into screaming out to God. Why God? What do you want from me? Emotions flowing, I released my control into His hands. Deep, dark emotions buried for years finally released out of my body. On the verge of sickness God was preparing me. Sickness came and the rest of my control went immediately.

So now that I am back at 100%, I’m starting a very hard road to complete forgiveness, a road that has to start now. Forgiveness of a person that has hurt me, someone who probably doesn’t care if I forgive him or not. A person who should love me, tell me he does and also shows it. A person who has made mistakes and paid for them. Someone who I still admire and look up to even today and I just don’t know why. I need to pray for him, I need to forgive and I need to move on.

Only through God’s strength can I do this. A grandfather can instill wisdom, morals, life lessons and more but when events happen and forgiveness just doesn’t seem possible, a hardened heart is even worse.

God has brought me to a place where forgiveness can finally begin and I praise Him for that. It will be a long time in the works and it won’t be easy, but with God anything is possible!!

Disfigured feet
Their bodies withering away cause they have no control
Sitting around waiting for the next
Polite citizen to come and bring food or gifts
They praise their god thinking he’s the one providing
When really it’s the Almighty God that provides, cares and loves them.

If only they would lift up their eyes.
Open up their hearts
Know that there is a God that will never leave them.
Just believe, know and trust in Him and there would be an end to their suffering.

Small, tiny room
All squished inside just to spend an hour together
Singing praises to God and praying for healing.
Children smile and laugh
Oh how I love the sound!
But in the women’s eyes you can
See the pain and anguish, so deep
That you just want to say…..

If only you would lift up your eyes
Open up your hearts
Know that there is a God that will never leave you
Just believe, know and trust in Him and there would be an end to your suffering

A safe haven from the rejection of unwilling parents
Too poor to care for the life they bore
Instead these kids get a life with laughter and hugs
Not worrying about the outside Chaos.

They lift up their eyes, in thanks
They open their hearts, in praise
They know there is a god that will never leave them
They believe and trust in Him.

Praise God!
How marvelous you are!

The families in the slums want you
They want you
The children at Asha house praise you,
They praise you.

Lord, I need you x3
I want you x3
I praise you! x3