Flashback to the preceding couple weeks before training camp: as anticipation builds in my mind and heart there is excitement but as the same time, a frustrating feeling of dread that I cannot shake. The same string of thoughts keep plaguing me; “God, my life is in no way shape or form in order, and I have absolutely no idea what I am getting into. How can you use me to speak your love to other women when I feel like I am all over the place?” Now come forward to Saturday night worship service in a auditorium full of flags from around the worlds and young men and women of God from across the country. As voices around me were lifted in praise I was lifting a prayer to God asking Him to come meet me where I was because I could not let go of these lies on my own. Then later in the service after a sermon about listening for the voice of God (John 10) all hundred and fifty of us laid a hand on a person around us to pray that God would speak to us on their behalf. With closed eyes a hand was laid on my shoulder (few times in my life has a hand felt that comforting and peaceable). As my mind raced my partner spoke after a few moments of silence. These are the words she gave to me “You are beautiful. You are God’s masterpiece. You are called and God will use you this summer.”
As I think about the past few days it is hard to believe all that has happened in less than a week: a couple cold showers, sharing a cabin with no electricity with over 20 other girls, meals of ethnic food, afternoons of hysterical and thought-provoking team building exercises, great times of worship and preaching, and the chance to get to know the stories of 17 absolutely wonderful ladies of God and watch as we grew as a family. The time has been challenging as it has got us to examine our lives, but it has also been a joy as it has reminded me to listen to the voice of God as this is the voice where truth and healing is found. As we go off to India (!!!!) I know that we go with the words of the Gospel, which are the words of truth from which flow the Holy Spirit who has the ability to heal and change lives. So all I have left to say is “Speak O Lord!”
