This is Real

Though
I seem to have these marking of times in every blogpost, I find this one to be
fitting because we have officially been in India for a month now. This time
last month we had just made it to Goa after three days of travel from Atlanta.
All the possibilities of what would occur in India lay ahead of us. We had no
idea exactly what we would be doing, who we would be working with, or even
where we would be living. There was so much excitement and anxiousness within
us, as we wanted to get to Goa; we wanted to start ministry and just start living
India! And now we have gotten over the initial bumps of starting a new chapter
of our life. We have adjusted to a new time zone, a new environment, and a new
culture. We do not worry about missing our bus stop to get to our ministry site
or if a creepy, Indian man starts pestering us. We do not mind the smells so
much or the randomisity of it all. Though I don’t think we’ll ever fully adjust
to the bus rides in India, we have accepted and embraced India and most days have
crazy stories to tell. Through all the adjustments we have made, I know we will
never get over the frustrations or conflicting battles within us as we go into
homes with such hurting families. As we interact with women that have hidden
lives and pains that we cannot fix or save them out of. We will never adjust to
knowing women we work with are being abused in their homes. We will not get
over feeling helpless in conflicts that burst forth between the women we
minister to that cause dissention and cause the ministry to be hindered. Many
in our group keep saying that it’s amazing how everything changes so quickly
and drastically in India and it’s so true! India is a land of contradictions.
In my mind, I so often see India as a very clean, rich land full of vibrant
colors going to quick, fun moving music, like what we see in Bollywood films, but
what is real is a developing land full of trash, not only in the streets but in
the homes of many. India surely does stand out with it’s bright colors and rich
culture, but it so often seems to mask what is reality, what is real. There is
so much pain and hurt behind the households of many; so many times a week, it
all seems so impossible to truly show Christ and it all seems hopeless. I am so
weak and feeble; what can my work really accomplish? How am I to truly help the
woman that numbs her self with alcohol and narcotics and always looks so full
of pain sitting outside her home in the slum? How am I to truly assist the
family with two children that are mentally disabled and have yet to begun to
walk or talk in these years where they should be flourishing? How am I supposed
to comfort the beautiful ten-year-old girl whose father forbids so many joys in
her life like just spending a simple, fun day at the beach with her friends, a
privilege the kids in the slum don’t hold often or even ever or praying to our
God within her household? What are we supposed to do when we find out one of
the women we work with is basically seen as property in her home, being bound
to a marriage she’s been arranged in since she was nine in exchange for land?
What are we supposed to do with all this hurt and pain? Any amount of time in
these slums of India would not allow us to adjust to it.

Last
night we had an amazing time of prayer, where we brought many of these hopeless
situations to the Lord. Each of us knew that we are helpless; we are weak and
feeble and powerless. These are not just stories we read on websites or e-mail
updates, but behind each story lies a real person with real pain, and often we
will not be able to help them out of their situation. But the Lord is not weak.
The Lord is not powerless. He has the power not only to take them out of
oppression but also to save their souls from destruction. He can do so much. He
can do it all. So in those many moments when I feel helpless, instead of trying
to find the words to say or just feeling overwhelmed with their pain, I am
trying to remember to bring it to the Lord. The God who created not only me, but
them. The One and true God who formed them and has redeemed them. He calls them
out by name, reclaiming them whispering, “You are mine.” He will not ignore
their pleas or forsake their cries. He will “lead the blind in a way that they
do not know, in paths that they have not known….guide them…TURN DARKNESS BEFORE
THEM INTO LIGHT, the rough places into level ground.” These are the things that
He does. Not me. I am purely His messenger. I am purely His vessel. I do not
have the power to save any of these women, girls, or children, but I know my
God can. I know He is with them in each and every one of their households and
is calling them by name, using every horrible situation to draw them close to
Him. All I can do is pray. All any of us can do is pray. For the Lord will do
what He has purposed. The Lord will lead them through the darkness. The Lord
will be the one to save them.