This week was incredible. Yesterday was exactly one month
that we’ve been in India. It’s finally starting to feel like this is where we
live! Loving every second of being here and ministering to these awesome
people.
Being here raises a lot of questions. Questions that I’ve
heard other people ask but never really felt they applied to me. Questions that
I’m afraid to speak out loud because I almost feel like my faith should be
stronger than that – like I shouldn’t be asking them. Questions that challenge
my beliefs and strengthens them at the same time when God says, “I know the
answer and that’s all that matters right now.” Am I making sense?
The realities of injustice have never been displayed in
front of me like they have here in India – I’ve got a front row seat. My brain
works in pictures so you’ll have to bear with me as I try and organize
everything that’s going on up there into words J
I feel like I’ve been plopped down in
the middle of this culture, these circumstances, and the lives that they engulf
every day. Then I stare right in front
of me as the realities blare back at me. They’re so close I want to draw back a
step and so loud I want to cup my ears. I look around to see if anyone else is
as shocked as I am, but as soon as I look to my left and my right, everything
goes silent. The blur that I was staring at is now the common scene of slum
kids kicking around rocks and women doing dishes outside their doors. Everyone
is silently minding their own business, oblivious to what is right in front of
me. One of the questions I feel like screaming sometimes is, “Does anybody else
see this?!” Thinking about it now, I feel like if I did scream that question to
the silent slum scene the answer would be, “Ya, but it’s just the way it is.” Am I making any sense?
So many more questions branch out from this scene and float
up to God in my prayers. Questions used to scare me – because that meant I
didn’t know everything. But lately I’m ok with it. I feel like God is saying
“Don’t be afraid to ask me the big questions. I’m a big God, ya know?” I love
when God teaches me things here. I love being here!
Even in the midst of my questions these things I know: God
is spreading light and joy here every single day, the hope that Christ brings
is evident in the lives of the women here who have grasped the truth of Him,
our God is a just God, and He is also all knowing. Those are the things that I
know make sense! And I’m ok with that.
