Cutting my Heart in Calcutta

Dear all of my family and closest friends, 

So picture this:  I am in a country where A) they don’t believe in trash cans and their motto is “find a lake, throw it in” but really what they mean is drop the trash wherever you are when you are done with it. B) It literally smells like poop and trash and exhaust everywhere. C) there are cats and dogs everywhere… stray cats and dogs. D) There are no traffic laws so there are thousands of cars going in thousands of different directions and honking from the time you wake up until the time you go to sleep…  E) There are creepy chants going on at night and in the morning and cats who sound like they are getting sacrificed right out of our door. F) We sleep on the floor… totally fine, except that I am quickly finding that my sleeping mat is like super hard. 

WELCOME TO INDIA!!! WHOO!  

Now that you and India have become acquaintances, I will share a little more about what is going on here with me and my team and exactly what we have been doing. 

When I got to India, I was in shock. I didn’t know it… but I was. There was so much to take in and so much to well… yeah, take in. I had just been flying for like 34 hours with plane layovers and I had been transported from my nice comfortable 4 bedroom 3 bath house in Gainesville, GA all the way to Calcutta, India to a 4 bedroom 1 bathroom flat that is lime green and concrete. It was just super crazy. 

The next few days were extremely rough. Mom and Dad finally cut my phone off so I had to go cold turkey on no communication with the outside world. I quickly learned how dependant I had become on those  around me at home. It was rough to say at the least. One morning my leaders laid on top of me praying Psalms over me and singing Jesus loves me for over an hour while I wept. I had battles every morning for at least 4 days straight and throughout the daytime. 

On top of all of that, I was being fed one super duper big lie that was literally crushing my servants heart. The lie? “Your boyfriend, family, and closest friends will NOT be waiting for you when you get home. You will be boyfriend-less and alone.” The thought of the next three months here felt so daunting. But God is good. There is redemption in this story. 

John 14:26-27 talks about leaving your mother and father and friends and family to become a disciple. James 1 talks about how if you are divided in your loyalty to the Lord you will not receive anything from the Lord. Genesis 32:22-30 talks about how Jacob had to send everything off to the other side of the river so that he could battle through things with the Lord to receive God’s blessings. 

Do you see a reoccurring theme here? It’s kind of hard to miss. God may have told me that he wanted me in India to learn how to love the people, but I am kind of thinking that he used that as a ploy. Honestly, I love these people. I loved them immediately. I never had an issue loving them. However, I have had NO trust or faith in God’s plans while I have been here. If I had, I would have had rest. What I think God had planned was to get me here to learn to love HIM. I honestly think that if God had said, “Heidi… I want you to go to India to learn how to love me and to become broken so that I can build you back up to love Me and Me alone,” I would have said… “No, I think I am good, God. I am pretty sure I love you.” HAHAHAHA?! WHAT? Seriously!!! I know myself. I would have said that. But obviously God knew me better. 

So yeah, I have been learning to love Jesus more than ever. I have been learning to be ok with the fact that we literally couldn’t get internet until 10 days into the trip. I have been learning to be ok with not being comfortable for the next three months. And I have learned that Jesus is Grace. 

So now to tell you what we have been doing here. 

The first week was kind of rough for me because there was so much to figure out that we literally had very little ministry outside of tutoring the boys for 2 hours a day. I just wasn’t expecting as much down time as we had that week and I allowed my mind to take off during those hours of free time. I also was NOT resting in the Word. I don’t think I even opened my Bible until 4 days ago. That is a serious problem. But its all good… since then, God has had me in His Word at almost every free minute that I am not writing blogs or emails to you. 

So that is pretty much what we did the first week. Today, Monday, was the first day of the new week and also the first day of incredible times of ministry. We started our Monday/Wednesday/Friday Bible study as a team this morning. Then we went prayer walking through the streets of Calcutta. Let me tell you something… IT WAS INCREDIBLE!!! I can’t put that in big enough letters. 

I need a whole paragraph to tell you about the prayer walk. Alright. So we found out that there is a refugee camp literally right behind the walls of our flat, so we decided to go prayer walking (with August, one of the guys that works and lives at the ASHA house) through those streets and through the market. When we started down the first street, we felt an immediate heaviness, which is incredible because we have not felt that since we have been here so it is obvious that God has an anointing on the streets that we live on. As we went on through the refugee camp, thousands… and I mean THOUSANDS of people watched as we walked, silently praying. Literally not within 5 minutes we had older men and women with ailments and illnesses come up to us and August translated. They wanted prayer! August explained to them that we would be praying in the name of Jesus and the Holy Spirit and one by one people came to us. We prayed over 3 people on the first street. What was coolest was that as we prayed, people encircled us. Almost trapping us in, just to see what we were doing and what was going on. It was such a picture of Jesus. I remembered how Jesus traveled and as he traveled, people flocked to see what was going on and who He was. So cool. So yeah, we did the same thing through the rest of the streets. It was awesome. And really heavy. 

When we got back, we prayed that none of the evil that we experienced on the walk would have any hold on us. It may sound crazy, but evil clings where it can, and in this house it has NO PLACE. Hendrika, one of the girls on my team spoke such a good word of truth and life. She said, “Where there is darkness, light can come and brighten the room and that is awesome, but what is even cooler is that where there is a room with light already in it, darkness CANNOT enter. We have been praying that over our flat, over our teammates, and over ASHA house. 

So there you go. We plan on going on more prayer walks through the week and coming weeks ahead. We also are spending time with the children at ASHA house daily by spending time with the girls and tutoring the boys during the week and on Sundays. 

I can’t wait to share more with you as this trip goes on. It is so precious to me to have this blog. I love sharing all of my experiences, but it also is just relieving to share my heart. Sometimes it can become so filled that it overflows and I love overflowing onto you all. 

Some of the pictures that I am including are from the trip. The little boy, Marcus, is who I tutor daily. There are also some other random pictures. The one of the doll is for Mrs. Nobles… Emily, one of the girls here is obsessed with her. She wants the doll to be in EVERY picture. She is precious. 

I miss everyone from home. I miss my sister and my brother, my parents, Reece, all of the Nobles, Hannah Z and Hayley and Dallas, both sets of grandparents, Mema, and all those at home who disciple me and carry me. 

P.S. I have 1 hour per week of internet. I plan on using it around 11 or 12 EST on Monday and Thursdays (30 minutes per day.) 

Please post your comments of prayer, encouragement, or questions on my blog or my Facebook or email them to me at heidi.ashlyn@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you. I miss you all so much! 

XOXOXOXO!!! – Heidi <3