SO THIS IS GOODBYE

December 1st was our last day of ministry in the slum that I worked in primarily. As we got on our bus that morning, I just started praying that the Lord would make the day an adventure and that it would be a day I would always remember. Well, he answered quickly. As we got on our second bus, our group was split up, my fried rice was knocked out of my hand onto the bus floor (along with my iPod and camera…) and it was a really rough bus ride. Ha, got it God. I want adventure, you gave it to me.

In preschool circle time, our contact had all of the kids put their hands on one of our heads and pray a blessing over us. 80 voices with grubby hands praying a blessing in English over us. I prayed that the Lord would burn that moment into my heart. And after she told them all to kiss our cheeks; my preschool boys rushed me to kiss both of my cheeks. After the first half of preschool, my teacher gave me the opportunity to talk to all my kids and just play with them. I told them that I was going home and that this was our last day together and that I loved them very much and that I would be praying for them. They asked when I was coming back and once again rushed me for hugs & kisses. As challenging as preschool was for me, I love those kids and it really was such a bittersweet moment.

And then there was tuition. We planned a special party for them and even made them awards and brought presents for all of them. Before we started with the party, we all spoke to them about how thankful we were for them, how we were sad to leave, and how we loved them & would be praying for them all the time. What we weren’t prepared for was the waterworks that our words sparked. We had a roomful of 50 slum kids bawling so hard that they were shaking. They cried so hard that their mothers that lived nearby came to check on them – one of our contacts had to stand outside and explain to them what was going on. It was one of the most heartbreaking but also one of the most encouraging things I’ve ever seen. So many times throughout this trip i’ve questioned, “am I even making a difference? is God using me or am I just playing with kids? Why am I here?” In that moment, the Lord spoke so clearly to me. You did make a difference. You loved these kids hard, that’s why it’s hard to leave. You’ve showed them me. You’ve poured out day after day. And any thought to the contrary is not of me.

So this is goodbye. To India. And to kids that i’m leaving a peace of my heart with. But it’s also the start of a new season, one that I’m really excited about. And I’m so thankful that in the last 6 months of my singleness, the Lord called me away. He called me to serve and to be refined in seeking the Lord first and Preston second. And though it was a very difficult season for both of us, and one of the most unconventional engagements, I know that we both learned a lot and are even more excited to serve the Lord together.

And I have a feeling that this isn’t goodbye to India forever.

So here’s to a new season. And to coming home. Oh, and to finding a job. If anyone knows of any full-time jobs in the Baton Rouge area for a recent business grad with managerial experience who spent the last 3 1/2 months in India and has a heart for all things business, social justice and advocacy, let me know. (yep, this is a shameless plug).

“As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight. I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”
– 2 Timothy 4:5-7