After the alarm has been snoozed 5 times too many, I wake up in a puddle of my sweat. My hair looks like I’ve lived in a cave the past two years. I put on my kurta along with my mis-matched wrinkly leggings that smell of baby spit and curry that I perhaps didn’t eat. I can hear the sweet babies that are crying upstairs and the ladies in the kitchen as they drop what seems like the fifth pot since 5 AM. It’s these moments at 9:30 in the morning that I think about quitting the most. My mind seems to take my flesh captive and lies to me about all the bad things that are going to happen during preschool. Don’t get out of bed today. Do you hear how much they’re crying? Someone’s totally gonna poop on you today. And yes… She’s gonna bite you. The ayahs are gonna talk to you in telugu for 20 minutes straight. Are you sure you wanna deal with that? So really… why get out of bed?
Most people on the other side of the screen might be shocked at these thoughts, but this is a reality that I wake up to. Every morning, I don’t wake up completely prepared to pick up a cute baby, only to realize they are soaked in pee. Sometimes after the third time I have been bit, I wanna throw in the towel. And yes, there are days where I carry the heaviest boy up the stairs maybe 3 times instead of the normal 1 because (I’m sure you’ve already guessed) he pooped his pants.
Life isn’t glamorous here. Some days in ministry, I’ll read a book to 20 kids who are crying and running around the room in circles, relentlessly banging drum sticks against the wall. And yes, there is always that one kid who fell out of their chair and hit their head. Some days, I will rally everyone together to play tag and I end up with one girl chasing me in circles while endlessly hitting me because I didn’t explain how to play in the correct telugu/english/weird hand motions. Some days, I just want my afternoon chai in peace, but Ruthie will jump in my lap with so much vigor that I lose half boiling hot tea in both my lap and on Ruthie’s dress.
Instagram does a very good job at making life look perfect. For example, I made a post that explained how I got my latest tattoo. (If you don’t know the latest story: I got tattooed in my hotel room while I got to eat pizza.) It was such an adventure, honest truth. But, what you didn’t know about that situation, was that there was enough body heat and B.O to fry an egg with flavor. There were so many strangers in that room that there was little to no wiggle room. Did I mention that my arm rest was a hotel pillow wrapped in plastic wrap? And that picture took 20 minutes to take and an extra 10 to edit and put a filter on it. I say all this to re-emphasize how much of our life isn’t shown through social media. My life isn’t just all the cool over-edited photos depicting giggles and cuddles with these kids. It is hard. You have to fight to get out of bed. And at times you have to fight the urge to puke a little when a kid pees on you.
So where I am going with this? Is this a blog to complain? Heck no. It is a blog to tell you that missionary life in India is challenging. But it is the challenging moments that perfectly complete the joyful moments. Good memories aren’t made from easy days, but from the days that push you. The further you are pushed, the bigger the opportunity for joy. The child that cried all morning? She eventually fell asleep on me and we got to cuddle for the rest of ministry. After I spilled my chai, I wiped it all up and we laughed, danced, and sang together. That day we tried to play tag is one of my sweetest memories so far. Yes, I left with bruises, but I also left with sore abs from laughing so hard. And reading a book to 19 kids who don’t pay attention is worth the 1 baby who crawls into your lap and can’t look away from the book. And all the pee that constantly stains my kurtas? Well, I’m still working through that but you just have to laugh through it. Because the joy on their faces even though they’re dripping in pee is worth it.
Jesus says to us in Matthew 25 that that what we do to the least of these we have done unto Him. Did you hear that? Every time you feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit those in prison, etc, we have done this to JESUS. The King of all kings. I don’t write this to sound boastful and say “Hey! Look at all this hard great work I’m doing!”. It is an encouragement for myself and for all of you. Every time I peer into the eyes of this orphan, I peer into the eyes of my great King. Every time war wages over getting out of bed, I remember that I don’t fight to serve this ministry, these orphans, or even my team. I serve the one truly great king Jesus Christ. This doesn’t only happen in India; it starts right in your back yard.
Here in India (as you’ve clearly seen me describe), not every day is paradise. I don’t always pray for people in cool markets and I don’t always have a peaceful day with the babies I work with. Some days are the same as the day before, but I must be encouraged. Because the most mundane days are also the days that glorify Jesus. The days where all I’ve done is carry a poopy baby upstairs are the days when Jesus is pleased. One of my favorite truths is that you are a missionary right where you are. Not all days look like healing a broken bone or prophesying over a person at the grocery store. But remember, being a “missionary” is about the simple obedience portrayed in Matthew 25: 35-40. So, maybe you just pay for a friends meal. Or maybe it’s sitting with the woman all alone at the coffee shop. Maybe it’s giving a homeless man a granola bar. Not every day is packed with all of the cool stories you see on social media. But the stories are there, and the more you start living in obedience to the little things, the more you will witness the huge things.
Life’s an adventure. An adventure that contains hard days that drive you to the point of mad laughter and a twitchy eye, and days where you fall into bed so pleasantly exhausted with the day of events. So live it up, live on purpose, and embrace the plain days. That’s where He’s dying to work the most.
