Stepping Out of the Boat

It was a Friday a couple of weeks ago now, that God put a story on my heart that I have known since I was a little girl:

Peter walking on the water.

I was preparing the devotional for our nightly prayer/worship meetings when God put this passage on my heart and began to weave it deep into my soul. Little did I realize that the devotional I prepared was more for me than anyone else in the room.

The story goes something like this: (Matthew 14: 22-33)

Peter and several disciples were out on a boat one night when a storm began. Earlier in the day, Jesus had left them to spend time with God, so He was not there to calm the storm for them. When the disciples saw a figure of a person coming towards them ” walking on the water” they were terrified and thought it was a ghost.  However, the voice of their Savior and Friend, Jesus, called out to them

“Take heart, it is I, Do not be afraid.�

In response, Peter asked Jesus to command him to walk on water and Jesus told him to do so. So Peter stepped out of the boat and began walking on the water towards Jesus.

Long story short, he walks on water for a little bit, but when he notices the storm around him, he takes his eyes off of Jesus and begins to sink. Jesus questions his faith, calms the storm, and they get back in the boat where Peter proclaims “Truly you are the Son of God.�

As a child growing up in the church and hearing this story countless of times, I always naively thought, “Peter, really? How could you take your eyes off of Jesus?! You sank!!� And I would shake my blonde curly head in dismay at Peter’s actions.

And, of course, there was the enthralling amazement that Jesus could even walk on water.  Seriously, I didn’t know anyone who could walk on water and I even tried to one time in our swimming pool (it didn’t work, in case you were curious), so Jesus must be pretty awesome.  But Peter, however, remained a disgrace to me.

Thankfully, though, as I began to grow (both in age and in my relationship in Christ) I began to be overwhelmed by the faith that Peter did have in order to walk on the water. But I don’t think I began to fully understand the implications of this kind of faith until now.

And now, as I am sitting cross-legged on the floor sharing this story, sharing what God has put on my heart. I’m four plane rides and a swervy jeep ride away from home staring into the eyes of fifteen boys whom have stolen my heart with their smiles and laughs and tickle fights and the way they belt out “Yes, Lord, yes, Lord� at the top of their lungs. Pastor Sam is translating and Gladys is causing a lot of disruptions, but the Lord still speaks.

And He says to me:

“Emilie, how can you walk on water when you haven’t even gotten out of the boat?�

My sheepish reply, “Uhhhhhhhhhh……..I don’t know?�

Yikes. For so many years I had thought so poorly of Peter, been almost embarrassed by his actions. And while he may have taken his eyes off of Jesus, he had already gone a lot farther than I had even thought about going. I was still curled up tight in a little corner on the boat staying as far away from the edge as I possibly could. I didn’t even have the option of keeping my eyes on or off Jesus. I was safe, warm, and comfortable on the boat.

But my Father was asking for more.  “Will you step out of the boat, my daughter? Do you have enough faith to do that?â€�

He wasn’t asking for enough faith to walk all over the Pacific Ocean. He was asking for enough faith to take one step. To step out of the boat.

And so, through circumstances and opportunities that God put before me, He put enough fortitude in myself to muster up the faith to step out of the boat. It was a shaky step, I was a little unsure of the footing, but it happened. I am out of the boat.