Woman at the Well

How do I express the last 11 days clearly? I don’t know if I can. It has been a beautiful time of reflection, growth, challenges, and pruning my heart. Also, the time has flown by. It feels like yesterday that we got here, but it has already been a month. Actually, today is officially our one month mark. And here we are, just 2 weeks away from MID-DEBRIEF! What? How did this happen? After that, we have just a short 8 weeks left. The first week we were here, I would have told you that 8 weeks was an eternity, but now… I can’t believe it. I don’t want to believe it! 

My team is finally starting to feel like home for me. I love spending our nights chatting, watching movies, making dumb chin face videos, working out, worshiping, encouraging each other, and just being ourselves! There is nothing like being thrown in with 10 other girls with minimal showering opportunities and bucket toilets and saying, “might as well get comfy!” It has been such an awesome experience. These girls and I have had to love each other despite how greasy our hair has been or how tired we look… we just love. That’s how it is supposed to be. That’s family, and that’s Jesus’ love. 

While I have been here at home and the girls have been out serving on the field, I have learned what it means to REST in the Word. Many days I have had to fight to stay focused because when you have to stay home because of the chicken pox… the last thing that feels like home is a bunker style apartment that is literally half way around the world from your real home. On top of that, we didn’t have internet connection all week (which has been such a good stretch for me) so I have literally had MINIMAL distractions, but that meant one thing … I was faced with the biggest distraction of all… my mind. 

It is so easy to want to be home. It is so easy to want for what you don’t have. However, all that would have bought me was an afternoon of depression. Instead, I fought the battle to stay present. There were days when I literally had to read books all day long or memorize the Psalms for hours straight just to keep my mind on track because any solitary moment would make me stray. I wasn’t allowing myself to rest in Jesus’ presence. I was working, thinking that somehow if I fought hard enough I would be able to win the fight. But that isn’t how it works. Although I was learning so much because I was throwing myself into a “Bible-frenzy”, I was wearing myself out. The fighting to stay emotionally present was making my emotions go crazy because I was exhausted!!! 

Finally I cracked and I texted my mom because I knew she would know exactly what to say. When I need comfort and I can’t seem to find it… I know who to call, or in this case text, first. She said a lot of things, but one of the things that stuck out most to me and provided the most direction and comfort was this: 

“Challenge for you – stop trying. REST…”

So that’s what I did. As she advised, I read Song of Solomon, and then I watched a movie with Jesus, and then I watched another movie with Him. And then I read some books outside with Him, and I just simply RESTED with Him. I didn’t try to rest or fight to rest, I just did. God revealed His rest to me in a way that overpowered any loneliness or exhaustion. I prayed that morning that any ounce of brokenness and heaviness that I would feel throughout the rest of the days here would be counteracted by two ounces of Jesus’ rest. And it was so. 

In some of my spare time here have been reading so much about the call on global missions in the book Finish the Mission. Although I was definitely called to India, I never felt called to global missions… or so I thought. I actually said to my mom the other day, “I know I am supposed to be here, but when I come home… my home front is my mission field.” I feel so stupid saying that now! Not because I don’t believe it, or that my home isn’t my mission field… it most certainly is. However, how can I say that I “feel the weight of my lostness that drives me to God’s grace” but not feel the weight to share that with the people in lost countries “who have enough knowledge of God to show them they are lost but nothing more.” 

The heart of being a Christian, I believe, is this: Acts 20:24 “However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me — the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.” 

God’s grace, man’s lostness. I know both of those well, yet I can say that “I don’t feel called to global missions.” Everyone who is in Christ shares his heart for people. And everyone who shares Christ’s heart for people share his heart for missions. I don’t think that I am called to GO, but I definitely feel called to send. The book Finish the Mission describes the two parts of missions as that: going and sending. There are those who are at home, being used to make more disciples to send out to the world, and there are those who are being sent out to make more disciples in the lost nations to send out to more lost nations and so on. I am super excited that when I return home I will be bringing back this awesome revelation. 

Today marks the last day that I will spend here at the house alone. Tomorrow is Saturday (again- it seems like it was just last Saturday yesterday!) and we are going to the zoo in Calcutta city! The actual city of Calcutta is very large, and while Barasat (where we are staying) is technically in Calcutta, the actual main city where the zoo is, is about two or three hours away by taxi – traffic included. We are so excited though and we all cannot WAIT to see all of the animals! It is our first official team trip! 

A very exciting update on the girls at Asha House… THEY GOT INTO SCHOOL!!! Our team could not be more excited for them! We all felt like a bunch of mother hens sending out girls off to their first day of school this morning. I wasn’t able to be there, but I saw some of the pictures taken with them in their new uniforms and backpacks filled with school supplies and books that were all bought using some of the money you and the rest of our home churches sent us off with for the kids and our mission. Getting the girls into school was very difficult for Pastor Sam, as they didn’t have any previous school records and some of them are far older than the children in the grade that they will be entering. He had meetings with the principles and the boards for the past month just trying to convince them to accept our girls and provide whatever paperwork he could get his hands on. Lots of prayer, daily, was lifted up on account of the girls’ acceptance and we trusted that God would come through – always! 

We also have another little boy here that was not at Asha when we first got here. He apparently left shortly before we arrived because of illness or some other reason, but he is back now. He is pretty far behind on his school work and he doesn’t focus well. He doesn’t speak any English really and we have a hard time tutoring him. However, he is really sweet and loves to play games. We hope that as a team we can be a light to him through our actions and love since verbal communication is limited to the other boys translating for us – and that can be hit or miss depending on the mood of the boys that day. Haha. 

Our ministry with the neighbors is also starting to take place. Half of the team was able to go visit a family in their home on Thursday, and without Akash (August) there to translate, they did the best that they could to love on them and pray over their family. These neighbors have become very close to us and like to come to the wall that separates their homes from ours as we worship in our back yard, swing in our hammocks, and just hang out together. Some of the men in that family speak a little bit of English, so they were able to have basic communication. The half that went to visit them were somewhat anxious because we had been instructed by Akash and Pastor not to accept ANY food or drink offered to us in other homes because we can never be sure if the food was a sacrifice or just the general safety of the food, but when our team declined their offer of tea and cookies, the family was very understanding and did not seem to be offended. As little a thing as that might seem, hospitality here is such a fundamental part of life, and to turn down something like food can be a real offense because you never know to what lengths they went to get it for you. Thankfully, tea and cookies are extremely common and cheap here. 

We have also made friends with our neighbors upstairs. We live in an apartment (of sorts) and the whole rest of the building (2 floors) is owned by one family: a grandmother and her three grandchildren- two girls and one boy. There is also a man who is the property owner and is very close to them, but I don’t know their relation. The grandchildren have made a real effort to get us to play with them and talk to them. They are considered wealthy children because they have a nice home and they go to a nice school. The littlest girl, Joycie, told me today that I should play with her because she was not a “colony child” (a child that lives in the refugee camp next to us) like the rest of the kids we play with. You can see the kids from the refugee camp playing cricket everyday in a small field right on our street. They all love to run up to us and take pictures with us and try to get us to speak in Bengali – usually it just ends up in giggles all around. When Joycie told me that today, I had to try hard not to laugh, because it was just so funny to hear her say that, purely out of jealousy. She knows we love those kids so much! She wants to be in on that love. 😉 

 

The grandmother that lives above us has a Hindu shrine in our backyard that she comes to clean every day and pray to. As odd as it sounds, that has given her a reason to come around, and a perfect opportunity for us to introduce ourselves. Yesterday I got to break the ice with the grandmother. She doesn’t speak any English, and when I said, “Toh Mar Nam Ke?” (What is your name?) to her, she said “Amar Nam …” (My name is …). She rattled her name off so quickly that I wasn’t able to understand it at all. All of the women here have extremely long and complex names and usually when you ask for their name they give you their FULL name, which is like 3 or 4 words long.

Anyways, yesterday I was sitting outside memorizing some Psalms and I noticed that she was trying to make the well in our backyard work. It hasn’t worked since we have been here so I initially thought that she was crazy… but then she dumped water into the top of it and I thought she was really crazy. THEN I heard some noise, like air and water trying to come out as she pumped and pumped and pumped, and I realized that she probably knew what she was doing. So I watched her dump another bucket of water in the top and pump away again. I quickly realized that there was a good chance that it wouldn’t work unless someone pumped while the other dumped water in the top… so I decided I would go try to help her. Now, she doesn’t speak any English AT ALL. Not one word. And she thinks that I can speak Bengali, so she goes into rants and I sit there like, “HUH?” It is actually really funny. I was just hoping that it wouldn’t happen at this moment when I tried to help. Thankfully, when I walked over and started pumping, she got the picture. She went and filled up her bucket of water at the faucet, then came over and dumped it in the well while I pumped. It took about 5 minutes and 2 more buckets of water… but then all of a sudden there it came. I have never been so happy to see brown water in my life. I was praying the whole time, “God… PLEASE let this well pump water! Let this be an ice breaker! Let this be a sign that I want to serve and love her! Let this be a sign that I care!” It seems little… but it obviously meant a lot to her. 

Today, Joycie came over to see Ashleigh Auntie. Everyone was gone except me, and I had the gate locked but the door open so I could see her sitting on our front steps to wait for Ashleigh. Initially I just kind of let her wait and I did my own thing; I was reading and studying Galatians because we had our team Bible study this morning in Galatians and there had been something that really set me off in a journey to find the deeper meaning of what it was saying. Then, after Joycie sat there for a good 10 minutes, I realized she wasn’t going to leave… and then I realized that this was probably a solid opportunity for me to get to know her better. So I went around my side door and sat outside with her and tried to read from my Bengali dictionary while she read me some English from her school book. Then we watered the plants together with the well water that her grandmother and I got working the day before. I watered all but the ones that I thought were the sacrificial plants. I don’t know… there was just something about it that made me think maybe it was best if I stayed away from that just in case it would make her think I believed in her gods. I think God just used that as a doorway to a really cool yet simple conversation. She told me that the plant that I did not water was actually one of her gods. Then she told me that the shrine was also her gods. Then she asked me what I believed. Keep in mind, this was all super simple conversation, like, “so-and-so my god.” then she would point to the shrine and point to each picture and say, “this my god, this my god, this my god, this my god.” Then she pointed to me and said, “your God?” 

At this point, Ashleigh had already started to talk to her about Jesus. She knew Ashleigh believed in Jesus, but she wanted to know who I believed in. So I said, “Balo Bashi Jeshu.” (I love Jesus.) Because that is literally all the Bengali I know, I had to try to simply explain that I loved Jesus, and only Jesus, and that I believed in ONE God, and that He is the Only God. It really didn’t get communicated well, but I wasn’t to worried about it because honestly, I just want to get to know her right now. The fact that she knows that I love Jesus and I believe that he is the ONLY God is enough right now. God will use that in whatever way he wants and as I grow closer to her, who knows what doors God will open. I asked her if she knew who Jeshu was and she said yes. Then I asked her if she knew about Jeshu and she said no. Then I asked her if she wanted to know, and she said YES! She was so excited that I wanted to share with her who I believed in. That was such a happy moment for me, realizing that she wanted to know, and that God loves a willing heart. 

The grandmother came down for quite some time and watched as Joycie and I talked. She brought me bananas and I gave her a loaf of bread in return. In respect for Akash and Pastor Sam, I won’t eat the bananas, but I can’t lie… I love the hospitality here. 

As I come to mind this week, and as my team comes to mind, please be praying for Joycie and her grandmother and her sister and brother. Our mission here is a mission of love and grace. We want to extend that in our actions because our voice here is so limited. We are blessed to have even the little communication that we do. 

Also, please keep the girls in your thoughts and prayers. We can only hope that as they start school so late in the year that they will be able to pass their exams which are held in just a few weeks. There is a good chance that they will have to repeat the grade over again. 

I know this has been such a long blog, but I just wanted to share with you all the updates that have happened here and what God is doing right now in our ministry. Relationships matter here. That is how we will connect with these people. They aren’t going to be able to hear us speak an in depth message of the life of Jesus and who God is. What they will hear is the footsteps that we leave behind here and the actions that take place in those footsteps and the love that carries us through this time. Love is our strength, Love is our passion, Love is our mission.

For now, 

    Heidi McCune