A couple of weeks ago the entire team was sick with some sort of viral bacteria thing. It was pretty serious and a few of us had to go to the hospital. I never have seen anyone so sick before and when I got it, I was very fearful.
I was in the worst pain I have ever been in. I was laying on my bed holding my knees, crying out to the Lord. I cried myself to sleep and the Lord came to me in a dream.
He was standing in front of my bed looking at me with such compassion. He was looking at me contemplating what to do to help me. Then He bent down a little bit and moved His fist back and punched inside of my stomach, He grabbed all the infection and junk and ripped it out. It was by far the nastiest thing I’ve ever seen, but it didn’t intimidate the Lord. He brushed His hands off, looked at me and nodded His head with accomplishment.
I woke up feeling 100% better. No fever. No chills. No aches or pains. No vomiting. No nothing, the Lord healed me.
That’s what the Lord does, He’s a healer, a fighter, a lover, compassion is who He is.
The next week I got a call and found out that my mom had passed away. How do you properly handle something like this? What do you do? How do you grieve properly when you’re so far away? How can I be there for my family when I’m not there? I honestly don’t know. Needless to say it hurt, bad. I feel like I numbed myself because I didn’t know what to do and just tried to bottle up everything.
The team was told we were going to a village on that Sunday morning for three days. I was fearful because I didn’t think I would have enough energy to preach and to pour into unreached people groups, when I was barely getting through myself. We got our gear packed into the taxi and as we were hopping in to the vehicle Pastor Sam lets us know we are going to the beach- not a village. It was a rough six hour drive with 12 people crammed into an eight passenger vehicle, but well worth it.
When I saw the water, I heard the Lord speak, He said ” I give good gifts to the children I love”, I laughed and cried. We took an early afternoon and swam in the Indian ocean. We played in the waves and I remembered how much my mom loved the ocean. I remember us going deeper and deeper in and my dad and brother being too scared to follow us. I remember walking down the beach in the early morning picking up seashells with her. We went to this beach restaurant later that day, and they had tomato soup that tasted just like my mom’s.
The Lord removed the numbness from me and reminded me some of the best memories I had of her, which obviously was painful, but good. The Lord gives good gifts to the children He loves. It was not just a coincidence that out of all weeks I have in India, that the week when I would experience tragedy would be set aside for rest.
On that Wednesday, we headed out to downtown Kolkata to meet field support on Park Street ( a really European upscale place) for Mid- Debrief. Debrief is also a time set aside for rest; field support comes in from AIM and their job is to pour into you, to rejuvenate, encourage and remind you why you are there. The Lord was totally part of that as well. Although, I still am hurting and sad, God really is reminding me of His love, His compassion, His promises over and over. He is not letting go of me, He will fight for me, He will never forsake me and He makes all things work together for my good and the good of those who love Him.
Lord, you give great gifts.
